33 Funny Dentist Jokes & Puns | Dental Humor for Patients

Going to the dentist doesn’t always have to be nerve-wracking. While your dentist’s main job is to keep your smile healthy, a well-timed joke can make the entire visit lighter and more enjoyable. If you’ve got an appointment coming up, share a laugh with your dentist using these funny dentist jokes and puns before or after your check-up.

Start Laughing Before Your Appointment

Whether you’re young or old, these quick jokes will brighten up any dental visit.

• What award did the dentist win? A little plaque.
• What do dentists call the x-rays they take of teeth? Tooth pics.
• What did the dentist say to the tooth before leaving the room? I’ll fill you in when I get back.
• Which teeth should you brush? Only the ones you want to keep.
• If a kid eats 22 out of 25 candy bars, what do they have? Cavities.
• What did the dentist say to Tiger Woods? You’ve got a hole in one.
• My teeth were stained, so the dentist asked if I smoke or drink coffee. I told him, “I drink it.”

Jokes to Share in the Waiting Room

Prefer longer jokes? These will keep you entertained while waiting for your turn in the chair.

• Patient: How much to pull a tooth? Dentist: $100. Patient: That’s a lot for a few minutes! Dentist: Don’t worry, I can pull it slower.
• Dentist: Can you scream like you’re in pain? Patient: Why? I’m fine today. Dentist: I don’t want to miss the game—there are too many patients in the waiting room!
• Dentist: Do you floss? Patient: Yes, religiously—on Christmas and Easter.
• Patient: What did you do before dentistry? Dentist: I was in the army. Patient: What was your role? Dentist: Drill sergeant.
• Dentist: Open wider! Wow, that’s the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen. Patient: Do you need to repeat yourself? Dentist: I didn’t—that was the echo.
• A boy in recovery told the receptionist he didn’t like the bad word the dentist used. She asked what it was. He said, “Oops.”
• A girl told her dad she wanted to be a heart doctor or a tooth doctor. Dad: Dentist. Why? We only have one heart, but 32 teeth.
• A man asked the dentist about a cheaper tooth extraction. With no anesthetic: $75. With a trainee: $35. With a student training session: $5. The man replied, “Great—book my wife for Wednesday.”

Giggle Along With Your Kids

Got kids nervous about their visit? These jokes will have them smiling in no time.

• My dentist told me to floss more—so I started dance lessons.
• Who has the riskiest job in Transylvania? Dracula’s dentist.
• What does a bear with a toothache get from the dentist? Anything it wants.
• What’s the dentist’s favorite dinosaur? A floss-iraptor.
• Why did the snowman visit the dentist? Frostbite.
• What does a dentist do on a roller coaster? Brace himself.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
• What do tuba players brush with? A tuba toothpaste.

Pun-derful Jokes You’ll Love Telling

If you’re a fan of puns, these will make your check-up even more amusing.

• My dentist has a TV in the exam room—I go for Netflix and drill.
• I need a root canal. Just the thought is unnerving.
• My dentist asked me to open up, but I don’t know him well enough.
• No one knew she had a dental implant until it came up in conversation.
• Dentists get better with practice—they go through a lot of drills.
• The lawyer asked his dentist for a retainer.
• In Panama, dental care is called a route canal.
• I got my job at the dentist’s office by word of mouth.
• He told me to put my money where my mouth is, so I got gold fillings.
• My dentist capped my teeth—now I can’t stop shouting.

If you’re due for a dental visit, bring these jokes along. They’ll not only help pass the time but may even make your appointment a lot more enjoyable.